When Sex Toys Break 😯
This Sex Toy Tuesday is your public service announcement (psa); you're welcome
Here’s an uh-oh moment.
You’re feeling the crazed pulsing and you press the vibrator between your legs to send the sensation into your psyche. Your mind is blanking, spinning, and rushing like an orgasmic hurricane and then …WHAAAA ??? !!!!
The dad-gum vibrator breaks.
Goes ka-poot and your whirring erotic thoughts screeeeech to a stop. Like being in a Formula 1 race car at top speed and a stop sign with a motorcycle cop waiting to give you a ticket appears from nowhere.
Too hard and you’re left panting and gasping.
You were so close to being swept away but now you’re left standing on the edge of looking into an erotic horizon and suddenly unable to reach your destination.
You’ve unwittingly edged yourself to a heart-pounding place, like sailing along I-5 south below San Clemente just north of Oceanside and car trouble hits and you need to pull over to a vista lookout.
Sex toys. The heartbreak.
As bad as being in love with a man. Or a woman. Or … you know what I mean. The journey is unfulfilled.
Hard to believe, isn’t it?
Sex toys can break. Bust. Go kuh-floowie at the wrong moment.
Why, oh why?
For one, the batteries go flaccid (okay, I tossed that in there for theme value).
Tip: make sure the batteries are charged.
The problems aren’t always obvious. I found this Reddit question that was posed a few years ago.
My sextoys keep breaking up: do I do sm wrong?
So I have a sex toy frenzy and bought high-quality toys, such as the Womanizer Premium, the Melt, the Sassy, etc.
Except that the we-vibe melt stopped working after a few months;
The Womanizer is constantly out of the charge while I use it once a few minutes;
the Sassy was vibrating by itself and I had to plug it to my computer for it to stop vibrating (I was visiting my family...) and now it won't lightened up or anything
I must have spent more than 500e for them and I keep being let down!!
My habits: I wash them with cool water after each use; I usually wait for them to die out before charging them, etc. they are all waterproof and I did use the melt in the bath but it is supposed to work so I don't think it's that. I want to buy that melt again as it was heavenly, same for the sassy,but I'm tired to spend money there!!
Any advice? Thanks!
Advice:
Don't wait until the toys are dead to charge them. This is probably the reason the womanizer and we-vibe stopped working. In decades past, it was highly recommended to let a battery die before recharging it. But with the current tech, every time you let it die you're actually shortening the lifespan of the battery. Same thing happens with cellphones. If you want to optimize your toys' battery lives, recharge back to full after each use and then unplug the toy and store for future use.
Do keep an eye on your sex toys and don’t let them be naughty during use.
Are the straps on your flogger secure?
If you have a spanking implement, is it worn and in danger of breaking over your partner during use?
Make sure your toys are properly lubed during use, if necessary, and properly cleaned after use.
My research team dug in and found this article on What are the Most Common Sex Injuries? I summarized here and am linking for paid subscribers–another little extra.
One of my staff, though, got caught up in fantasizing about the vibrators and is going to need a thorough spanking from me as punishment.
Good help is … hot … to find. Or bad help as the case may be. And that may be good (for me).
Working on the G Charles editorial team isn’t always like sunbathing on a nude beach. Sometimes it’s like sunbathing on a nude beach on the northern stretches of the English Channel. Brrrrr.
This post was inspired by an online domme I know, Godly Leelah, who mentioned she had a toy mishap. Find her on X.com.
Paid subscribers click below for a helpful link.
Don’t let these sex injuries happen to you:
Skin irritation or abrasions due to lack of lube.
Leg cramps.
Objects becoming stuck, so use high quality toys.
Urinary tract infections.
Click the link for further reading with this worthwhile article. It’s from the Sexual Medicine Society of North America.
Use Duracell